My greatest
parenting challenge
I was sitting on my prayer mat…..hands were lifted for dua; the tears were rolling on my cheeks. After performing my ISHA prayer I was begging to Allah for Sanya!
Sanya 10, my daughter second in
siblings of three. What is wrong
with her? Your query is just!
Would you ever seen the pic in which a new borne is in laps
of her eldest brother looking happy, while the middle one angrily looking by
ignoring both! The caption on it is:
“The Moment He Realized, HE was Now
Middle Child!”
This middle child
of mine is a problem for me! Sanya, a problem child …oh! Should I say it for my talented daughter?
.....let me share my feeling about her!
Maria, 12, and Yasir, 6.The eldest and youngest
are quite reasonable while Sanya always creates a problem for me. She
disapproves what favors all of us. When I have to accommodate my offspring for
any program, refused by her makes me disturb to revise my suggestion. Her
argument on each matter creates a dispute. She is harsh in commenting! What and
why goes wrong with her? Let me share some incidences ……..
Both the
girls went with her aunt to her neighbor, who served fruits to eat. Maria
tasted all of them pleasantly while Sanya coiled and declined. The daughter of
the host, who is a professional doctor and mother of a girl, exclaimed “…….that
is why her (Maria) skin is glowing….she takes fruits……” I feel the toxicity of
her remark …resulting disturbed Sanya for the weeks, but I must say she didn’t
forget negative response!
She went
with me in a social gathering and standing beside me. A girl from the guests
pointed her eyes and said to her companion,” look! How beautiful……” I noticed
anger on Sanya’s face and later she expressed in this way,” Look at this aunty!
She didn’t notice my poor health, just my eyes…the only good thing I have…she
has devil eye on it ……”
I didn’t
know that lady but felt sorry about Sanya’s gesture on her and let me share
that recently Sanya’s eye sight got weaken and suggested by doctor constant use
of glasses! I am afraid she relates it to those remarks …..!
She crossed when her fellows joyfully excited over
a matter either going to picnic or getting the news of teacher’s absence,
getting free period …whatever made all laugh and enjoy she overreacted, noise
in the class makes her unhappy….when siblings got any advantage of making
disobey the rule she teased them! All these depict discipline in her nature, of
course, but she is isolated making her more frustrated!
Surprisingly, all near and dear are concerned
over her! What she is doing? What is her plan? Her schedule? Everybody wants to
follow it …this concern make her angry or little proud, I could never guess!
Being a child and more over it, as a human she must like care but why she
reacts like it! It is puzzle for me! Especially I embarrassed during social
interaction! I worried as a mother!
It does not
mean that she has no good qualities! She is the most obedient child of mine! Gets
up in the morning at my one call! Helps me in domestic cores; like dish
washing, spreading the cover, answering the calls, teaching younger brother…..!
She is sharper than her sister makes me satisfy as she can defend herself at
either case of danger! May Allah save them! Her confidence level is high.
She has good sense of humor. I enjoy her
wittiness! She is definitely an extrovert; this is my conclusion about her! Then
why pretend as introvert? It confuses me! I know she has leadership qualities
because her friends, cousins try to follow her. I wish she would turn into a
polite, contented girl! An expressive and determinate girl didn’t like in our
society as the majority is hypocrites! It bothers me about her future. She
needs some counseling, I conclude.
It was all
about sitting on prayer mat, thinking about my life started with kids! Maria,
the first born in both the families, maternal and paternal, was a beautiful
adorable child! She gained lot of love and care along with many gifts from grandparents,
uncles and aunties!
Sanya was borne just after 18 months of Maria,
was totally different from her sister. As she grew everybody noticed she is
more active, expressive and creative soul! Her learning was pronounced! She
started reciting poems at very early stage.
At the age of 4 she was admitted to school. It
is a big change for a child, but for her it was harder as she missed her first
week of school because of her sickness, plus I was in hospital as my son was born.
Although, I am not a psychologist, but being a mom I realized that this absence
of very first day from school, did not allow her to intimate teacher and fellows.
My assumption could be right but the reality is that she has a class of nearly
40 hyper students. When they cry she coiled.
At each PTM teachers complain her lack of
interest in class. But the fact is that she never given a chance in co
curricular activities! She is a good writer! Her eloquent is excellent! On last
PTM I complaint to her teacher about her ignorance towards her,
“….. Many compositions of her have been
published in different magazines… “In a lighter mode I said to her “...In
future when she becomes a famous writer you would say she was my student and at
now, even you do not know it at all…. this is her last year with you…she is
going in secondary class…” Teacher was surprised and promised to see the
matter. But unfortunately when next day she was shown the magazines, she
remarked “it is published due to her grandfather ..!” it dimmed sanya’s delight
and the worst is that teacher lost all the magazines having records of her
compositions! Due to all these she is upset which affects her health…….
Today, she misbehaved with me on supper. I was hurt, so was
praying about her…”...I realized she has remarkable personality, but how can I
make an ease for her? How should b treated with different people? I cry and feel that Allah is answering me…
.”I gifted you unique creature of mine! Would you thank me?”
oh, yes I take the challenge, trying to stand up, somebody came and put her
head on my lap,” Mama Sorry! I have taken bread with curd! Do not worry …! She
was crying. I hugged her! She was Sanya, my little angel. I kissed her shining
eyes and wet cheeks. I have to handle her with care she deserves..!
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